In trans theory there is this notion of lag time, or how transition is marked by delay: to gain access to treatment, to feel aligned with one's body. Wait to come-out, to pass, to move to a safe place. Wait for safety, comfort, joy. This lag can produce a sense of fatigue, with transition experienced as an endless tunnel, a journey of becoming sometimes ecstatic but often tinged with anxiety. This series is about time. I wanted to represent mysterious femqueen creatures morphing into the unknown. There is also a utopian quality to these figures evolving fluidly between sexes, genders and races; faces melting into each other as allegory of a relational ontology, something I regularly have the chance to discern in queer communal spaces.
There is also this quote from Torrey Peters, "half of the trans women in Brooklyn live in a state of perpetual pre-celebrity, awaiting a well-deserved recognition that will never come." This speaks to the precarious aspect of trans lives. While our community is bursting with talent, stars of the queer underground struggle to pay bills, and many of us are in permanent proximity to crisis. In light of this, I wish to dedicate this work to all the trannies who struggle, and those who left us early.
The name of the series references my Neotribe research, as well as slit-scan photography, an oldschool still and animation technique that allows to play with temporality. I found this to be the adequate metaphor of trans lag, the figures seemingly frozen in time, compressed and flattened into surface.
However, it's up to the viewer to reanimate them, thanks to a complex digital workflow that led me to produce these lenticular prints, physical artifacts with the quality of displaying movement.
In many situations medical care for trans people is hard to access, limited, slow. DIY is often the best or only way to go. Of course, this is no medical advice blabla. Most important is to educate yourself onthetopic, since you basically have to become your own doctor if you choose this option. Still, if you’ve done enough research and feel ready, here is a path to start hormones in days instead of years:
Astrée’s fast track to estrogen (for the european babes):
- make an account on a crypto exchange platform. I recommend kraken or bitfinex.
- deposit some cash, european bank transfer works well. You need ~125 euros for 3 vials, approximately 2.5 years of supply.
- convert this money into crypto, check with your seller for possible options. I used litecoins for fast and cheap transaction.
- order estradiol enanthate (cost effective, easy) from Felicitas (my choice), Lena or other. If you're in Berlin, you can contact me for a cheaper source.
- order alcohol tabs and syringes (these are the one I got, plenty of other options).
- here is a good guide for injection. I personally do subq in the butt, alternating side every week. This simulator helps with choosing your dosage. I started with 5mg of estradiol enanthate per week = 0.12ml per injection with a vial at 40mg/ml.
Series of 25 lenticular prints, signed, kissed, framed. Dimensions variable.